Sweet And Sour - BLOG
It’s been a while since I sat as a student in high school, but I distinctly remember the people who made it their mission to fill my mind with useful information. They determined that I would exit greater than I entered. I’m thankful for the lessons (not just subject matter) they taught me. As time fades, many memories become a mist in the recesses of the file cabinets lining my brain. Some have been happily dumped in the garbage; however, when the same people have so many hours of your attention for four years of your life, they have a great influence on your formation, whether it be positive or negative. Those memories stay a bit longer.
Two such teachers will stand my scrutiny today. For my learning experience, they are polar opposites. The first teacher seemed to enjoy drawing attention to his students’ errors. He would single a struggling student out to do work on the board, knowing what failure awaited the poor kid. He threw things at students who weren’t paying attention and called names. He gave honest opinions of his students, publicly humiliating people. I tried to be invisible in his class; although, a few times, I too got the brunt of his “tough love.” I’m not sure if shaming was his idea of making us tough enough to try harder, but unfortunately, it left a negative mark in my memory and a distinct dislike for the subject he taught.
The other teacher made learning fun. She used encouragement to spur her students to do better. When someone needed chastised, it was done in private. Her classroom was a safe place to make mistakes. Even when assignments were oral, you didn’t feel like you would be ripped to shreds if you bombed. She created lasting relationships with her students who love her still. She showed a genuine caring attitude about us that made us feel loved. She is one of the reasons I chose to teach.
There is an old saying, “You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” If you want people to stop and listen to what you have to say, you have to surround it with positive encouragement.
1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
edify
[ed-uh-fahy] verb (used with object), edified, edifying.
1. to instruct or benefit, especially morally or spiritually; uplift:
I understand that we are to hold one another accountable, as iron sharpens iron; however, there is a time and a place to do this and it’s never publicly to humiliate someone; this includes a Facebook post. Sure you may have left names out, but you know that, that person knows exactly who you are talking about. Chances are several others can also guess the person you are referring to.
Matthew 18:15, "If your brother or sister sins against you, go and correct them when you are alone together. If they listen to you, then you've won over your brother or sister.”
Your testimony and your character come into question when you use biting sarcasm to harshly correct someone in public. Even if they were definitely in the wrong, and you are correct in your assessment, you are erring. Our job is to move in love; sarcasm is never love. A gentle and loving handling of the situation allows God to shine in the midst of the situation.
James 3:11, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”
Our job here is to be a light in the darkness, to be Jesus in a lost world; we are His ambassadors. If you have bitter water flowing out of your mouth and sweet in the same breath, what do you think people hear? What do you think people are paying attention to? It’s certainly not your love. For most people who suffer from self worth issues, that moment of insensitivity may last for months or years. It takes 3-5 positive comments to offset 1 negative one. If you are dealing with a person who’s been beat down his or her whole life, it is significantly higher.
Proverbs 12:18, "There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health."
Proverbs 15:4, "A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."
Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Watch your tongue. Be sensitive; be loving, and do your business in private. Your words and attitudes have lasting effects on those around you. Social media is an exciting way of keeping people in touch; unfortunately, all too many times, it is used in a passive aggressive manner to harm or injure others. I challenge you to fill your mouth with the sweet love of Christ.
